142 in cash.
20 in bank.
162 total.

In other news

My dad is still an asshole.

We skyped again tonight. It was sweet she kept asking when I was getting home and when I told her I was finally home she jumped at the opportunity to skype with me. Again it was easy and nice and I can’t wait to meet this girl in person. My lovely Rizolli!

I had a disturbing dream.

That my sister was kidnapping children, cutting their stomachs open and making them paint with their own blood. Then she’d kill them. It was very strange. Also something about cocaine and friends at a hotel.

Skyped with Kaye for the first time. Felt natural. Laughed a lot. Easy. Fun. Can’t wait to skype again. Love her accent.

Rizzoli & Isles

autonomousmouth:

Starbursts, M&Ms, Turtles, Stargazer Lilies, Stormy, Misty, Soccer, Ocean, Lavender, Boston, homicide detective, sports, sweats, umpire, animal lover.

Ne me quitte pas!

If you are a friend of any sort then play along and catch a cold. In the gardens I get lost that is unless I’m getting found. Think about how things were right when we were young.

I broke up with my girlfriend.

I honestly don’t know if it was the right thing to do. On one hand I didn’t want to and she didn’t want me to. On the other what we want isn’t always what we need.

misstastyslife asked: What part of Texas do you live in?

I don’t see why that matters. I live in the southern part of Texas closer to South Padre Island area.

How does one end a long term relationship?

It needs to end for many reasons. One it’s long distance, we’ve never met. Continuing this will lead to disaster, what if we stay together and when we do meet it’s not the same. What if we don’t know how to be in person. We see pictures, we video chat, phone calls but in person it’s different and what if we fell in love with a person we imagined them to be. Two age difference. She’s a teenager and I’m an adult! She has yet to experience the world outside of high school. There’s college and moving out on your own and just so many experiences that I’ve already done. I don’t want to be the older wiser one I want someone to take care of me not the other way around. I’m a born leader so all my life I lead only I don’t always want to be a leader I want just one person who can lead me and only me an frankly I don’t see that happening with this girl. Three I don’t even know my sexuality! I thought I was straight but I’ve always been attracted to girls. People would ask me if I was bisexual and I’d always tell them no. I was ashamed for anyone to know I was attracted to girls. I get off to lesbian, gay and straight porn. I like both. I just don’t know if I could go down on a girl. I’m more comfortable with males. I want a strong man to take care of me to be able to give me children naturally but I crave the affections that a woman can bring. The sensitivity and emotional connection I feel with a women is stronger. Bottom line is I’m in love with this girl, I can see myself with her, living with her being with her but I think I’ll always want a man. In the future I see myself married to a man. A husband. I can’t lose the girl I’m with now. She’s my secret. I love her and I get jealous if other people want her. She’s mine and I don’t want to let go. She’s a full lesbian and she loves me to the core. She put me ahead of her dreams. When we met almost two years ago she was in a relationship with other girls and it seems they always ended because she put her dream career ahead of any of them. Moving to New York is her dream and in June it will be a reality she already has her ticket. Only she doesn’t want to go. She wants to come to Texas where I reside. She’d willingly give up her dream if it meant being with me. I’m her dream. I told her not to come to Texas and to go to New York because she wouldn’t have a place here and now her alternative plan is to bring me to New York. She’s already saving money for my ticket and I can see that I’m in deep so there’s no other choice but to end it. I just don’t know how. I’ve tried to break up with her many times before but when she cries and begs for me back I crumble and I apologize and stay in a relationship. Can anyone help? Opinions? Advice? Anything?